even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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