Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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