I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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