just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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