You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
