yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i out mim tonsoeep
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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