But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
