I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish you could order shots online.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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