Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize