I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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