My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize