If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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