i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
