exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
