I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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