He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize