mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
