so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
