Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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