just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
