you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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