Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
