My first STD was from a foam party
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
