Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize