so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
