how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize