I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
