Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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