I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize