Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
