Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
