It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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