There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
