Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
