She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
