wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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