Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
