Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Randomize
