So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
