Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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