dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I look better un-naked...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
