Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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