Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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