Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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