I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize