Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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