Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
