the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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