I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
