all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
