Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
