the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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