She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
