I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's never too late to be topless.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
