hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
