I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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