Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This girl is more easily done than said...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize