Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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