just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
