I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
