I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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